Growing up in a dysfunctional family is hard. Especially when somehow you grow up into a normal functional human, despite your background. People have high expectations of you.
I feel more comfortable around dysfunctional people with addiction and violence issues than I do around healthy functional people.
For instance I feel really uncomfortable and anxious around my in-laws. My fiance’s family are loving kind people. Naive folk say to me “they’re nothing like your family you don’t need to project your anxiety onto them, they’re not going to hurt you like your parents do”. People don’t understand how hard it is for me to relate to my in-laws. I don’t know how to act around a normal family. I’m not used to it. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It just feels so foreign.
Every time I talk to my mother in law, I tense up.
People tell me to just enjoy being part of a normal family. I quietly respond by saying “But I don’t know how…”