I should be excited to go and educate little people. Today is the first day back at school and I’ve been dreading it. I’m sure it’ll be fine once I get there. I’ve become rather accustomed to working on myself this summer and having me time, rather than spending my life improving the lives of others, while being deeply dissatisfied with myself and my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I used to love my job. I’m not someone who lacks compassion and empathy, I used to have it in sheer abundance. The thing is, I work with kids with disabilities and mental health difficulties as well as those labelled “vulnerable”. I graduated a few years ago and have worked really really hard, always going the extra mile in any way I can. I threw myself head first into my career and put the rest of my life on-hold. All of my compassion and empathy seems to have run out. I gave it all away and as I continued to give more, I never topped it up. I neglected me.
Now I am fatigued. A bit burnt-out and I wish I hadn’t neglected me so much.