Be Careful What You Wish For

I am confused, I sound confused and I am acting confused.

I have been wishing for most of my 26 years, that I would be able to handle my parents addiction better. Two years ago, I had the courage to make some changes, I set some boundaries and decided to do some hard work on myself, to stop me from continuing my lifestyle as a codependent.

In the last month, my mother (though still an addict), has begun to show me respect and is even respecting my boundaries. For the first time in my life, I feel like my life is drama-free……this is all I’ve wanted for the past 26 years and id always imagined this moment and how I thought I would savor it. Unfortunately, now it has come I don’t savor it at all, surprisingly, I don’t like it.

I don’t know how to live without her drama, without her abuse, without her putting me down. It feels uncomfortably peaceful. At my worst (in regards to this challenge), I thought about creating a drama in my life, so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Growing up with addicts was so chaotic that I learnt to live with it, I even learnt to like it. Now my next step is to learn to live without it, because I’m breaking the cycle and it starts with me.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/savor/

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13 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Wish For

  1. Keep it up. You’ll be fine. Need to remove the noise and at first it will be too quiet (not liking it) but eventually, you’ll grow to get used to it and eventually love peace. I removed myself from the day-to-day of my parents lives (not due to addiction) but they have other issues, and I’m happier for it. I only see my mom basically a few times a year. We’re okay with that. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.

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  2. Pingback: Bumble When You Work – TyroCharm

  3. It’s good that you were able to establish boundaries and put yourself first. As someone with a codependent parent, sometimes it never feels easier but you’ll be able to cope better keeping the negativity at arm’s length.

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  4. I’ve had a similar experience. I come from a LOUD family, I was used to life with constant noise. Once I was on my own, it felt TOO QUIET, I wasn’t used to the silence, it felt very uncomfortable. But then I found a new way… I started listening to some really good Podcasts, Audio books, music. What I realized is that the silence was giving me a chance to focus on my passion in life, focus on writing my blog, researching, etc. Suddenly I was enjoying the silence, because I had a purpose and I was focusing on learning. Podcasts and audio books are fantastic. Try it, you might find the stories you listen to liberating. Silence/peacefulness is GOOD.

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