The most difficult thing about being the daughter of two addicts is the things I didn’t learn growing up, like basic social communication such as, being honest.
Unfortunately addicts spin a load of yarn all the time. They lie about everything and anything that will cover their addiction up.
This may sound strange, but growing up, I didn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie. My parents modeled a life of lies to me, so much, that lying became more acceptable to me than telling the truth did. I genuinely did not know the difference between fact and fiction.
My Mum used to exaggerate grossly and twist the truth so much and I copied her. I thought you were supposed tell people the story of what happened and modify it slightly. This really impacted my friendships as when I was at intermediate school, people started labeling me a liar. I was so confused. I was only doing what my parents did. What was wrong with it? Why did people not like it? Didn’t everyone so this?
As a teenager, I began to understand the difference between the truth and a lie and I had to teach myself how to tell the truth. It was very difficult and I lost a lot of people in the process, who understandbly did not trust me. I have struggled with the delivery of things that others may not want to hear immensely, a little voice in my head tries to tell me to lie; to avoid getting rejected, to avoid looking bad and to avoid hurting others.
I’ve found over the years that telling the truth is risky, but so is lying. One thing I’ve definitely learnt is that honestly means freedom, and freedom feels good.