After growing up in adverse circumstances, there’s many things I’m working on, with regards to myself.
One of them is getting rid of my inner voice that criticizes me for everything. That inner voice, is the voice of my parents. When they were drunk when I was a child, (which was a daily occurrence), they would sit and criticize basically everyone we knew. She’s fat , he’s selfish, she’s boring etc etc. I have grown up assuming everyone is judging me, all of the time. I think to myself “that person must think I’m fat , boring, selfish” etc.
Changing one’s whole inner dialogue is more difficult than I thought it would be. I realised I don’t even know how to speak positively to myself. I don’t even know how to have an expectation that others think positively about me.
I’m hoping I’ll find some strategies soon, but for now, it’s great getting this struggle off my chest and down on paper (or on WordPress 😉).