With my parents being alcoholics, my life has been very complex. All my life, I have wanted things to be simple and straightforward.
In the last year, I have grieved over my parents alcoholism. I have grieved over the complexity of my life due to childhood trauma. I have grieved over my parents continued drinking and the complicated family dynamics with siblings, my parents and extended family because of it.
Recently I have come to accept that my life isn’t simple. I have baggage in the form of trauma, I have parents who continue to drink, whom I don’t want to severe all ties with because, well, they are still my parents.
The day I accepted the complexity of my life, something changed. I was able to focus my energy in managing my trauma and my relationship with my family, instead of putting all my energy into pretending it was not there. With acceptance, has come healing. With acceptance, has come peace.
Unfortunately to get to the point of acceptance, there were a lot of uncomfortable feelings associated with grief; sadness, madness, denial and a strong sense of injustice. I remember at the time of these emotions feeling as though I was going crazy. But luckily somebody told me to “trust the process” BEST. ADVICE. EVER.