Do What Makes you Shine

It was a hard weekend for me. My fiance went out with some mates on Saturday night for some drinks. This is a perfectly normal thing to do. Unfortunately, I have not had a normal life. My parents are alcoholics and it triggered me.

If I go out with him, I feel fine because I can see him and I know there’s nothing wrong. If I’m at home (like in the weekend), I feel frightened that he will drink too much. My childhood fear and trauma of sitting at home while my parents are at the pub creeps into my mind and engulfs me. It’s a completely different situation than my childhood, yet in the moment, I cannot think logically about it, this is the nature of trauma.

Instead of beating myself up about another abnormal reaction to a normal situation all day, I’ve made a list of things that make me shine and I’m doing one “shiney” thing a week for the next six weeks. During these times, where my mental health and trauma recovery is a struggle, doing the things I love is important. I can’t make my life about the negatives and triggers, I’m choosing to plan lots of fun things to help me through this hard time. I’m overcoming trauma; I’m breaking the cycle and it starts with me.


8 thoughts on “Do What Makes you Shine

  1. This is an amazing insight, and truly do what makes you shine. Life is about blazing your own path to renewal and it seems like you’ve found the right direction. Awesome work, keep it up my friend.


  2. I’m glad to have found you here in the blogosphere. I think we are at similar stages in our lives at the moment… maybe your experiences were different from mine, yes of course… but the decision to live a better life and put the past behind..

    That’s where I am now. I can especially relate to what you said “I can’t make my life about the negatives and triggers, I’m choosing to plan lots of fun things to help me through this hard time.”

    It’s what I’m trying to do as well… I look forward to seeing more of your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I learn from mistakes and sometimes, the hard way… I’ve been learning how to stop being a people-pleaser and not be too hard on myself. I hope you’ve been doing well these days. 🙂


  3. Pingback: Author Interview – Colleen Chesebro – The Heart Stone Chronicles – The Swamp Fairy (Fantasy Genre) | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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