My parent’s are alcoholics and I am a codependent. I have spent a lot of time trying to control their addiction, trying to control others views of them, trying to control everything else around me, because I didn’t know any different and because I was terrified of relinquishing control. Controlling the external made my anxiety disappear.
Trying to control external circumstances for the last 25 years, although has helped my anxiety, has exhausted me. I need to make a change.
In 2017, I’m not controlling the external. If I give up controlling external circumstances, the only option I have, is to control how I respond to them. I must work on my interior. The exterior is off limits.
I am going to face the music, I’ve got to look at my anxiety from a different angle. Looking inside myself and working on the interior will mean a lot of hard work; challenging core beliefs, learning coping strategies and getting out of my comfort zone. I’m totally up for it, because I’m breaking the cycle and it starts with me.